What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection
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If it's true that "...the opposite of addiction is not sobriety...the opposite of addiction is connection," there are lots of people who need to discover what true, healthy connection looks like. Whether the struggle is with addiction, toxic relationship dynamics, or something else, we've all tried to meet our needs in unhealthy ways. Way too often, the things we run to for comfort leave us feeling even more disconnected and alone than before.
Through conversations about the many ways we can connect, we offer an invitation to discover and move toward what we really want, so we can live the lives we were created for.
Awaken (awakenrecovery.com) helps men and women whose lives have been wrecked by unwanted/addictive sexual behaviors and sexual betrayal trauma. We hope the podcast will help not only those struggling sexually, but anyone who seeks healthier ways of finding connection.
What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection
45 | Drew Boa: How We Outgrow Porn
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People addicted to pornography often experience lots of shame and self-contempt ("What's wrong with me?!"). They often see their sexual desire, and the fact that they go to porn to try and satisfy it, as THE problem.
Our guest, DREW BOA, disagrees. In his new book Outgrow Porn: Find Lasting Freedom Without Fighting an Exhausting Battle, Drew says, "Your sexuality is not the problem, and the urge to watch porn is not bad either. It's a symptom of unprocessed pain. When you understand this, your journey will dramatically change."
In this great conversation with our first returning guest, we talk with Drew about how compassion and curiosity are far more helpful in outgrowing porn struggles than shame, self-condemnation, and strategies limited only to behavior management. We discuss how evangelicalism's history of unhelpful messages about sex have negatively contributed to people's struggles. And we talk about how committing to a path of healing and recovery can help us find what we've been looking for all along.
Drew is the founder of Husband Material, an online community where men can find friends, coaching, and resources to support them in their path to living as mature, healthy men.
Some of the items we discussed in the episode:
- Drew's previous episode of What We Really Want
- Sheila & Keith Gregoire's episode of What We Really Want
- Johan Hari's famous TED Talk
How to connect with Drew:
- Husband Material website
- Husband Material podcast
- Outgrow Porn book from Drew's website (discount + bonus materials)
- Outgrow Porn book on Amazon
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